We’ve entered the entertainment Dead Zone that is the beginning of the year. As such, I haven’t been inspired to make a new episode of How ‘Bout No?, my homemade Youtube series, in which I take a hard look at something new on the pop culture landscape and decide it’s not worth your time. Then I find better (usually older) things that will be worth your time instead.

Well, the drought is over, now that Valentine’s Day is rearing its ugly head, and we are about to be subjected to the third and final (please let it be final) entry in the Fifty Shades of Grey movie series.

It probably doesn’t need to be said, but I’ll say it anyway: Don’t go see Fifty Shades Freed. Don’t read the book. Don’t listen to the soundtrack. (Actually, I don’t know. Maybe the soundtrack has got some good stuff on it. Why do I have to be so across-the-board negative all the time? Apparently, Danny Elfman composed the score. Maybe that’s actually kind of good.)

Unfortunately, I am traveling and do not have access to all my glorious video-making goodies, so I cannot give the topic the full How ‘Bout No? treatment that it deserves.

Instead, I asked colleagues, friends, and family to offer their thoughts on what you should watch instead of this most recent S&M schlockfest. It ends with an on-camera discussion with my parents on what romances they enjoy while my mother cuts my dad’s hair. She cut my hair too, but I didn’t get video of it. I did take the selfie that you see above.

I hope you enjoy this Quickie, and maybe it’ll give you something satisfying to watch with your significant other this Valentine’s Day.

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More Pop Culture Beast – further Movie opinions from yours truly:
*Review: Golden Globe winner In the Fade, starring Diane Kruger
*Die Hard is your favorite Christmas movie? How ‘Bout No?
*Review: I, Tonya, starring Oscar nominees Margot Robbie and Allison Janney