Preacher Recap: The Coffin

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Preacher Recap: The Coffin

Last we saw, Jesse was the pit-master of the redneck fight club from hell, Cassidy was smuggled out of said fight club wearing another man’s skin, Jesse was a dick to Tulip to get her to leave (and it didn’t work), and another witch told Tulip she had to kill Jesse’s Grandma if she wanted him free from the blood compact Jesse made for resurrecting Tulip.

*whew*

Oh, and speaking of Hell….The Devil has paroled The Saint of Killers in order to have Jesse and one mystery person brought back to Hell…alive. Wonder who that is?

AND WHERE THE HELL IS ARSEFACE AND HITLER?

*ahem*

Let’s find out.

‘Rise and Shine.’

Tulip goes back to Angelville, but can’t bring herself to shoot a sleeping Grandma. She talks to Jesse about killing Grandma.

Jody and TC find that Cas is gone. They are piiiised. They try to lay down an ass-kicking on Jesse and Tulip, and that goes about how you’d expect. Tulip knocks TC out. Then she saves Jesse from Jody. Grandma steps in with the bloody hanky, however. This is where we find out about the previously mentioned ‘coffin’.

Back with our folks at The Grail, they’re making fake promotional videos that  show them introducing Humperdoo to the Queen of England. Guess it’s a backup if Jesse doesn’t come back.

Starr gets a call from the Allfather–a fat dude eating a strangely medieval looking feast. He’s also found out about Jesse. Starr lies to the Allfather about knowing about Jesse. Apparently Starr’s plan to replace Humperdoo with Jesse is a coup.

‘Well–there is one thing, but I don’t see how it’s relevant.’

Allfather thinks it’s time for a demonstration of skill by Humperdoo, and Starr looks a little panicked. All Humperdoo has mastered is tap dancing.

The Allfather finds it hilarious. He wants the time table to reveal Humperdoo accelerated. Featherstone suggests using Cassidy to bring Jesse back.

Back at Angelville, Tulip is chained up and Grandma stops in for a little chat. Lots of threats are issued from both parties.

Grandma has had Jesse put in a coffin at the bottom of the swamp as punishment. He starts to get a little claustrophobic. We see him in a little old-west fantasy with a guy that sounds like John Wayne. It looks like something he’s done a lot in his past. I guess that means he started getting used to the coffin when he was younger.

‘Thank God you actually look like your picture.’

Cassidy has joined some kind of vampire dating site. He goes on his first date. She seems like a sweet girl, until he figures out she’s actually human, and some sort of groupie. She thinks he’s pretending at the whole vampire thing, and is terrified when he ends up pissed off and is very definitely a real vampire. We also see Featherstone spying on him.

Back at Angelville, Jody is watching Tulip. TC is discussing with Grandma how to make Tulip pay. TC weirdly advocates for keeping Tulip alive, as Jesse would hate Grandma if she killed Tulip.

Grandma and TC do some strange role playing, and it begins to look rather incestuous. O.o Grandma decides she wants to eat Tulip’s soul anyway.

Jesse figures out a way out of the coffin, but it ends up looking like he could drown in the process. He only just makes it out.

Tulip frees herself, of course. She also strangles Grandma. Unfortunately, Grandma had already done a spell tying her life with Tulip’s. Tulip dies. Jesse is just in time for TC to tell him what happened, and he revives Grandma (which revives Tulip).

While Tulip was out, she saw dog/God again. He taunts her for failing.

Back in New Orleans, The Grail nab Cassidy. As they’re filming a ransom video, he is rescued by masked people. They turn out to be some kind of vampire cult.

TC tells Jesse that Grandma needs to eat a soul to keep her alive.

 

Well, shit. Still nothing about our escapees from Hell.

 

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