I am eternally grateful to be a part of the class of humans who have been on Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout! in Disney’s California Adventure (DCA) as well as Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind at Walt Disney World Resort’s (WDW) EPCOT in Florida. You would think this means I love this intellectual property: truthfully, I have never seen it. I’m a huge Parks and Recreation fan and lover of classic rock, so I should probably get around to it, but I digress.

I wanted to compare the two rides and maybe (hopefully?) declare a winner. I will be comparing the rides on five categories: queue, location, story, soundtrack, and overall ride experience. I encourage you to yell at me/throw tomatoes/etc. in the comments.

Queue: Mission Breakout

One of my most vivid theme park memories is going on Mission Breakout without spoilers, and a large part of that is the queue.

Sure, the cages of other trapped beings are interesting. But when Rocket’s tail popped up in the preshow room, I genuinely thought that was going to be his only appearance. And then that ROBOT STEPS OUT? PLEASE. My jaw hit the floor. I have become a certified Rocket fan without ever glimpsing at his films. I think I would walk through this queue just for fun and never get on the ride (shoutout Podcast The Ride, for which this has been of debate).

The queue for Cosmic Rewind is interesting, but I felt like the preshow portions went on a little long. I enjoyed the “room thing” (if you know you know) and the appearance of the Guardians so casually after we are in peril did make me laugh out loud. But unlike Mission Breakout, I was just biding time until the ride.

Location: Cosmic Rewind

This is the throwing tomatoes portion as both locations are controversial. But my WDW people… we needed this.

And for what it’s worth, my WDW people also know that Tower of Terror is a treasure. This remains the cardinal sin of Mission Breakout that blackens it in so many hearts – reskinning such a beloved attraction, even if a world class attraction is taking it’s place, is going to leave a sting.

Sure, Cosmic Rewind feels a bit shoehorned at times, but it adds a HUGE draw for EPCOT as the construction continues. It looks and feels at home in Future World, hanging out near other space themed rides and almost acting as the Space Mountain of the park. I hate to say it, but I am pro this ride being in EPCOT (sorry!)

Story: Mission Breakout

I have been told that Mission Breakout has a story that ties in the movie. Cosmic Rewind might do the same. I don’t know either answer for sure and that is exactly the point. Without knowing the movies, Mission Breakout is a completely coherent story. I have yet to figure out Cosmic Rewind. It felt extremely convoluted. Just take us to space!

Soundtrack: Tie

If you put your tomatoes away get them back out.

My official opinion is that Mission Breakout has more songs worth hearing, but the heavy hitters on Cosmic Rewind are SO good. I would take “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” over ANY song on the Mission Breakout list, but there are really no songs on Mission Breakout that I find personally annoying or “wedding-y” the way I do on Cosmic Rewind. Feel free to disagree with me, this is an op-ed for a reason!

Ride Experience: Mission Breakout

Oof.

In Behind the Attraction on Disney+, imagineers compare Mission Breakout to being a baby bounced on someone’s lap. The accuracy!

I did like Cosmic Rewind a lot – it’s innovative and interesting and moody and will be something I prioritize for years to come. But there is just something about Mission Breakout and the way it fit into that tower that makes it a standout.

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What do you think of the two attractions? Have you been on one? Both? Are you stung by Tower of Terror or the force of IP into Epcot? Which songs do you prefer? Let us know in the comments!